The Centre Holds: Finding Shelter Within Yourself

There are times when your surroundings don’t speak your language, literally and otherwise. You know you’ve lived here before, shopped in these supermarkets, and smiled politely at these neighbours. But everything feels just a little off. The milk looks different. The bus app won’t load. You forget which bin is for which recycling category. Again.

I know this feeling well.

And as we covered last week, as an Aquarian woman with a fiercely logical, deeply feeling, autistic brain, peace doesn’t arrive naturally. It’s something I’ve had to build. I’ve had to fight to recognise what peace even looks like in my body.

And the more I’ve moved between countries, cultures, and expectations, the more I’ve realised this: shelter isn’t always a place. Sometimes it’s a practice. Sometimes it’s just choosing not to spiral.

When the familiar becomes foreign

I’ll be returning to Germany soon. It's not new to me, but re-entry always stirs things up. There’s a gap between what I expect and what I feel. The bread’s amazing, yes, but where’s the bagels? Why is everything shut on Sundays? Why do I suddenly feel like I’ve forgotten how to live?

Transitions, even ones we’ve planned, hold tension. They tug at our sense of identity. When we’re between places or selves, we can lose our centre without even realising it.

What it means to find shelter within

To find shelter within is to know that safety doesn’t have to come from your external world. It doesn’t have to look like someone else’s peace. It doesn’t have to be perfect. But it can be yours.

It’s not about self-isolating or building walls. It’s about tending to your own nervous system, slowly and without shame. It’s choosing not to abandon yourself when life feels messy or unfamiliar.

It’s looking inward and saying: I’ve got you.

Simple practices for finding shelter within

These rituals aren’t about being better. They’re about feeling held, by yourself, for yourself.

1. Create a familiar object altar

Place one or two small, grounding items together: a crystal, a dried flower, a travel token, a shell. Let it be a reminder that you can carry “home” in your pocket if you need to.

2. Breathe with something solid

Sit in a chair and place both feet flat on the floor. Close your eyes. Inhale and press your heels into the ground. Exhale and soften your shoulders. Let your body remember that it knows how to be here.

3. Smell something you know

Scent is powerful. Light your favourite incense. Brew the tea that reminds you of your gran’s kitchen. Use your familiar perfume, even if no one’s around to smell it.

4. Speak to yourself like a welcome guest

You are not an intruder in your own life. Remind yourself, gently and repeatedly: You belong here. Even if you’re still learning the rules.

It’s not a failure to need comfort

We’ve been taught that independence is strength, that asking for softness is weakness, that needing shelter means we’re not “there” yet. But honestly? That’s nonsense.

Seeking shelter is something the wise do. It’s something the brave admit to needing. And it’s something we’re allowed to create, not just wait for.

Wherever you are, between countries, relationships, beliefs, or seasons—let this be the week you hold your centre.

Let this be the moment you stop waiting for peace to arrive wrapped in someone else’s routine.

Let this be the time you create shelter inside your own heart.

You don’t have to feel fully rooted to be fully worthy.

You’re allowed to build safety from the inside out.

And even when the world feels foreign... the centre holds.