Fortify Yourself with Love (Not Just Logic)

Some of us learned early on that being clever would keep us safe. That if we could analyse it, plan for it, or mentally prepare ourselves well enough, we’d never have to feel too much.

Or fall apart. Or ask for help.

We became quick with words, skilled at fixing, and brilliant in a crisis. And exhausted.

Because the truth is, logic can’t always hold you through what love was made to carry.

I’ll be honest: none of this came easy for me. I don't think it ever will. My Aquarian brain moves fast, loves structure. I'm the eldest daughter of an alcoholic father and a mother who was never emotionally available because she was busy looking after my disabled sibling. Add in some neat little neurospicy spirals and a lifelong streak of independence, and I can logic myself into some very tidy emotional traps.

But I’ve been learning.

Mostly from my husband, whose nervous system is like a forest, quiet, rooted, spacious. And from myself, when I finally slow down enough to feel what’s underneath the lists and mental rehearsals.

What if love is the thing that holds?

When we talk about fortifying, we often picture walls, plans, and strategy. But there’s another kind of strength. One that comes from softness. From presence. From care.

To fortify yourself with love is to choose compassion over perfection. Kindness over control. Support over self-sufficiency.

It’s not always loud or dramatic. Sometimes it’s knowing when to stop before you burn out. Sometimes it’s letting someone in before you’ve solved it all yourself. Sometimes it’s saying, I don't know what I need, but I know I matter enough to ask.

Ways to fortify yourself with love when logic isn’t enough

Here are a few small rituals that have helped me. They’re not revolutionary, but they’re real. And they work.

1. Speak to yourself like someone you’d protect

When you catch your inner critic kicking off, pause. Try this: “She’s doing her best. She’s allowed to rest. She doesn’t have to earn softness.” That “she” is you. Speak it out loud if you can.

2. Build a pocket altar of support

Choose 3–4 small objects that feel like anchors: a rose quartz, a feather, a shell from a happy day, a pressed flower. Keep them in a pouch or a tin. Hold them when you forget you’re held.

3. Tend your boundaries with tenderness, not barbed wire

It’s tempting to shut people out when you’re overwhelmed. But real protection doesn’t need to be punishing. You can say “not today” with grace. You can ask for space without apology. Boundaries built with love are the ones that hold.

Let love steady your edges

You don’t have to let go of your sharpness. There’s a place for discernment. There’s power in intellect. But they don’t need to lead alone.

Let love be part of the architecture. Let softness be part of your safety. Let care be one of your strategies.

You can fortify with gentleness. You can protect with beauty. You can love yourself like someone worth building around.

Because you are.

And that’s the most logical conclusion of all.